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I'm going to go ahead and agree on Street Fighter live action. I will beat everyone to it and say that Chun Li Street Fighter movie and Dragonball will both suck, but that's a gimme, so I guess I cheated.

Let's see, other movies that sucked that I saw recently? There Will be Blood and No Country for Old Men, two completely heralded movies that suck and are complete monstrosities of story telling. No beginning, middle, or end, no major character development, and its shock value is child's play, at best.

There Will Be Blood: Summary -

Hi, I'm a big wig oil guy and I have the magic touch to find oil. I also have a kid. I'm also gonna weasel my way out of paying too much for some land from some crazy Christian kid nut because that's just how I roll! So I convinced everyone in this little town to give me land and now I'm making oil and I'm also going to make this Christian kid's life a living hell because I'm a douchebag. Ohnoes, an accident made my kid deaf, and now I'm going to go and beat up the Christian kid's fault because he didn't pray or something! RAR! Now that my kid's deaf he's obviously retarded in these old times, so I'm sending him away. But I now realize that was wrong after my loving and caring fake brother taught me other wise; to thank him I shot him, and was forgiven by some crazy land owner in which I never bought his land from because I'm a twat. So I got my kid back and now I'm making crazy money. Fast forward a few years and now I live in a mansion cuz I'm a bigshot oil guy in the great depression, and now my deaf kid wants to start his own oil company in Mexico. Now I have no son because that means he's a competitor and OH LOOK, here's Crazy Christian Nut asking for money because the depression got his church real badly so I'MA KILL HIM WITH A BOWLING PIN!!! Okay, now I feel good.

The end.

...



No Country for Old Men: Summary -

Hi I'm a crazy psychopath who just got arrested by some cop and taken to jail but I outwitted him in jail and killed him, took his cop car, pulled over some old dude, killed him WITH AIR, and took his car to cover my tracks. Good? Okay, over here I'm some awesome redneck cowboy bad ass who is hunting for boring deer - oh and you don't know it yet but I'm the best thing in this movie, just watch - but while hunting deer I encountered a bunch of dead bodies, plus a dying Mexican asking for water. But my bad ass just says, "I ain't got no agua." So I leave him for the wolves and coyotes, but while searching, I found a CASE FULL O MONEY BY A DEAD BODY! YEEHAW! I'll take this, regardless of any DEAD BODY REPERCUSSIONS, RIGHT? So, I take it home and I'm all manly happy as I pretend nothing happened with my rednecky wife, but while I try to sleep I'm all like awe man, Mexican just wanted agua, so I get up and be a nice guy and go to give him water, but the ass is already dead, DAMN I HEAR GUNSHOTS they're coming for me! I ran back to my house and told my wife to get out or they gon' kill us, cuz they'll find me soon. So I send her to her deadbeat's mom's house, and I run away to some hotel, not knowing who's after me!

Okay, psycho here, I just wanted to say that I was with some dudes after the shooting, but then I killed them both. I'M SO CRAZY YOU DON'T KNOW WHATTAFUH! So I find the hotel my cash is at because there is a radar transmitting beacon inside the case and now I'm gonna find my way inside the hotel by BUSTING THE LOCK THROUGH WITH COMPRESSED AIR, and kill everyone in the room like crazy and make this mystery cowboy guy run! RUN COWBOY RUN!!! I made him bleed, but he shot me with his sawed off shotgun, so now my leg hurts and I'm going to get pain meds by being a bad ass and blowing up a car to divert attention from a Walgreens to get free pain meds. By the way, that was the only bad ass thing I do this whole movie.

HI! I'm Woody Harrelson! I don't know WHATTAFUH I'm doing here, I'm like some all knowing conspiracy guy! This psycho guy is dangerous, so I'm gonna warn cowboy man while he's hospitalized in Mexico, even though he obviously knows! Also, I die.

Okay, so I'm awesome Cowboy man and I'm pissed cuz psycho guy just threatened my wife so I'm going to go get ready to whoop ass. I'm going to wait for him at this hotel where my wife and her ma are going to be at and get the jump on him! Oh hey, some chick just hit on me. Hmm.

Hi, I'm Tommy Lee Jones! I was in this movie the whole time, too, but you probably keep forgetting because all I do is come in for 3 minutes as an old timer cop and make some old wise-man comment about the situation and then you see the other guys! WELP, I'm at this hotel that some Mexican guys just ran away from guns ablazing and awesome Cowboy guy is dead.



I don't know whattafuh, and there's his wife, sorry, yo dude died. And she cried, cuz apparently her momma died, too. Well, it's okay missy, I'ma be back because psycho guy always comes back to the scene of the crime, EVEN THOUGH HE WASN'T PART OF THIS CRIME, and I'm going to come in at night and my old bat self is going to play hero and... oh damn, he's not here. He escaped. Oh well. I should retire.

Crazy psycho man here, I just wanted to tell you I killed Cowboy guy's wife after that, and then some guy ran a red light and ran into me and broke my bone. I ran away to heal myself CUZ I'M SO AWESOME.

Hey, it's me, Tommy Lee Jones again, the cop guy again, except I'm not a cop no more. I retired, and my wife just made some old-wise man comment to me and it TOTALLY BLEW MY MIND!!!

The end.

CONGRATS, you don't have to see those movies. And no, not one thing was exaggerated.

Rishi wrote:

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Waitasec, Chunners is getting her own movie? Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

No dude. Not sweet. Not sweet at all.

Rishi wrote:

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Sweet, dude. I've squeeze every inch of her fine Chinese butt. <3

Simmer down, now, Rish. Simmer down. :P